I woke up this morning with a horrible dull feeling in my chest. It’s something I’ve felt before, almost everyday. Anxiety about the day ahead and so forth.
Then I remembered something that I read recently on Tiffany Battle’s blog The Werk-Place:
“It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?” – Marianne Williamson
What if I don’t make it?
What if I lose all of my money?
What if I fail?
Well, what if you succeed?
What if you make it?
What if you are blessed beyond your wildest dreams?
I am constantly plagued with questions that I can’t answer right now about my future. However it’s been something I’ve been able to manipulate and control over time; though I’m still partial to a freak out. I made a decision a couple of years ago to not do what I was doing anymore if I wanted things to change. What I meant by that is I was unwilling to travel down a path I knew wasn’t right for me, or at the very least I wanted to give myself a chance to be challenged attempting to do the things I loved.
Give yourself a chance, that is my mantra whenever I want to give up and so far so good because I have taken part in some wonderful ventures since. So when I do wake up in a panic, I have to open that memory bank and retrieve these accomplishments, not all of them happy – honestly it’s been hard, but they’re mini milestones nonetheless.
Now I am surrounded by people who have had similar revelations and that’s inspiring to witness. So What If is a constant conversation I am having with myself and others, but I take solace in its conclusion being one that I can help to control but also it’s a journey which I don’t think I want to end. I want to keep learning, succeeding making more and more of my dreams come true and I’m blessed to have the chance to.