Two unknown chefs in an unknown kitchen, preparing an unknown meal.
- Who are these the chefs? What’s their relationship? Are they mentor and mentee? Begrudging rivals?
- Where in the world are they?
- What are they making? What’s the occasion? Are they plating the meal for a couple’s intimate anniversary dinner, or preparing to poison the queen?
CHEF TALK by Me
“I don’t know why she’s complaining. I’ve paid all the school fees, given her money for the rent, clothes, holidays, birthdays – I even wanted to have them stay with me -“
“Rent? Wait, she’s the one who shacked up with another man and you’re having to fork out money for their rent?”
“Ah I don’t know what to do anymore Jeff. If I don’t pay up then she turns the kids against me – telling them that Daddy doesn’t care about you or, you can’t eat today kids because Daddy wants you to starve, it’s ridiculous.”
“Mate, that’s not ridiculous that is downright vindictive. I to-, never-mind”
“Go on – continue with what you were going to say – I told you so. I know you did but you’re going to have to join the back of the queue because I’ve got Janey, Mum, Aunt Carol, Gurvinder front of house and my bloody Postman calling me or telling me all day every bloody day that they told me so”
“All those people and you still didn’t listen. Do me a favour? Pop the cake out of the oven”
“I should have listened, I feel so stupid. I thought she loved me”
” She probably did, once, but I always knew she wasn’t the one for you. Then you went and got her knocked up, I told my Jen, I said: ‘He’s only got that witch knocked up – now he’s really in trouble’ -“
“And what did she say?”
“Who, my Jen? Ah, she just said poor bastard“
“You know what I did when she told me she was leaving – I cried, I cried like a baby. It all just came out, I couldn’t stop, it took us both by surprise but – “
“Pass me the whisk over there”
“- she didn’t even try to talk, she’d already had the kids in the car and all their bags packed. I couldn’t go outside to say goodbye, I didn’t want them to see me like that. To know that I was powerless to get them back.”
“When I was 9 and my Dad passed away, I was livid. Poor bastard had a legit reason not to say goodbye, but I just couldn’t get passed the fact that he had just gone and died. Kids are more forgiving than you think, if you assure them. Pass the coco powder please.”
“I know, oh God, you’re right. I’ve been messing up so much lately. It’s all her fault, that bitch”
“I think you need to take a break – a nice holiday – do you some good.”
“I can’t afford it, plus with her Majesty’s birthday coming up, you couldn’t afford to let me go”
“Well the thought was nice anyway. Et Voila.”
“Red Velvet cake with buttermilk icing and a light coco dusting.”
“That’s my favourite desert”
” I know. Look you’re a good person Derek, and good people deserve nice things. I can’t get that witch back for you, I can’t tell you when you’ll get to see your kids again, but I am a bloody great Chef.”