What will the next must-have technological innovation be? Jetpacks? Hoverboards? Wind-powered calculators?
Photographers, show us INNOVATIVE.
If like me you hate headphones but love listening to music, then you’ll know it’s not always practical or considerate to blast tunes from a portable radio or if you’re still stuck in 1984 from a boom-box, forcing people you don’t know to listen to your completely random but very inclusive* playlist.Let me explain.
Wires: prone to going all spirally, too short or too long and 9 times out of 10 – excruciating to deal with. I’d go as far as to say that having to play the game of ‘un-knot the wire’ is akin to having to have travel injections or doing taxes. It’s so laborious and you’d rather not, but if you don’t things spiral out of control. How do they even get that way? have you seen this:
It’s so true #earphoneproblems.
Ear phones don’t even try to fit in my ears anymore: those silly in-ear inventions are not catered to people like me and my Dad, who have small ear passages that reject anything larger than a hair pin**. And the normal foam padded kind? yeah, those little foam pads get mighty dirty when you leave them in your bag they usually surface with a whole colony growing on them. Ugh. Also, make the padding out of silk NOT rubber or material akin to Styrofoam.
Headphones: these are better, but the wire problem again. It’s usually 10 times worse with headphones because they’re not really made for portable wear, people have just become more anti-social and everyone is a DJ now so …They also don’t do any favours if you wear your hair in a high bun, like me. Almost all the time.
So what about wireless headphones: Nope, they don’t do it for me either, why? Well aside from the above, this invention also means I have to turn the bluetooth setting on the device I’m playing from; that sucks up major battery power on a smart phone, and before you know it you’re stranded in the middle of an excruciatingly awkward tube journey (people don’t look at each other at on London tubes, if you do you’ll start a fight***) with no music, no power and therefore no distraction.
So I propose a small liquid powered chip called Music in my ears™ (MiME™) : it would be placed just in the crevice before the ear cavity (Apple would do install it for a small fee of £300 + warrantee and a complimentary i-tunes backlog, or you could visit all good music stores and AV outlets and get it for £100 to install it yourself).
The chip could then be paired with all the devices of your choice. No bluetooth, just a one-off 1st time installation with some crazy technology that I don’t even understand. Then et-voila, music in your ears whenever, wherever you want. No wires, no padding, no spending ages in HMV or online picking from the ridiculous number of designs out there – no fuss. A little ear icon would pop up on your smart phone when you wanted to connect. Cancel it if you don’t want to. Easy. If you did, then you would still use your phone or music device the same way to select and play songs only this time your invisible receiver would pick this up and transmit the sound-waves for your ears only,because duh – its connected to your ear.
What if this invisible chip gets lost/ wet or worse…lost? Buy a new one/ it’s waterproof/ be more careful.
*It’s been relayed to me that I have musical taste that doesn’t discriminate anyone. Scroll through and I guarantee that you’ll find a song that you don’t think sucks – probably two.
**DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
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