Vignettes

I am actually obsessed with my HTC Desire. Its a ludicrous, banal and sometimes worrying relationship that I am not alone in conducting.

Its a curious and perturbing wonder how a palm sized, smooth to the touch, black little thing with a elegant grey toned shimmer casing, large LCD touch-screen and numerous  pixels compacted that I couldn’t possibly begin to understand…could bring me to my knees almost every hour of every blessed day.

Case in point the many times I found myself and seen others become slaves to this little technology:

Case 1.”I lost my Phone – where is my phone?…oh. Its okay it’s here.” – and so begins a continuous game in which you play cat and the phone is mouse

Case 2. “Shit I think I left it on my Bed. *ihopeidid*” – this unmistakeable feeling of sheer annoyance with yourself when you jump on the tube and go to glide through your phone (because lets face it anything is better than looking at other’s faces then pretending not to be looking before settling your gaze on the yellow holding bar above) and realise you’ve forgotton the bastard. As the day goes by you go through pits and falls of forgetting then remembering your stupidity all over again. Then you start to ‘hope you did’ because if you  arrived back in your room to find it NOT attached  into the ridiculously short cabled charger – then where the hell is it? Did you drop it on your way to work? Did someone on that cringingly packed tube carriage pinch it? Oh why were you so bold to take it out and fondle with it at any given oppertunity?

YOU KNOW THAT LARGE LCD SCREEN is a like a  MUG ME label for disaster!

Case 3. “Oh my MAC is too heavy and big…I’ll use my smart…phone” – Its not really a substitute though is it? In no way have they developed a battery powerful enough to take on the multitude of tasks you demand from the little thing. We expect them to do the job our PCs and Macs do – and for 3.5 hours they do it brilliantly …but then we complain when the battery begins to waver after an hour from then on and usually when we probably need it to just be a simple call and answer device.

Case 4. “Pah – I dont need to plan it. I’ll GPS it” – Ah many a time I have entrusted just my phone and the “oh just text me the postcode” approach to getting about the city. I’m a Londoner by birth and its always been a case of  “oh whatever , it’s not like I’m not  going find my way home…I am in London after all, there’s bound to be a way back” attitude. In other words I haven’t really bothered to learn exactly where I’m going and the best way to get there. I just turn up. So the map thing is both a mental steel trap and a learning curve. However,  sometimes it takes more time to activate all the settings on my phone that allow me to get the GPS satellite working. Also it means I spend more time looking at the street view on my phone than paying any attention to the road i’m walking down in reality. Thus I still feel no need to really plan and prepare.

Case 5. “OMG! LOL ! TWEET TWEET TWEEEEEEEET” – I’m a twit, tweeter, twitter-er  – Oh-emm-gee its just too difficult to  care. All I know is that my phone came with the app and now I’m hooked. Its so instant, and you choose the source of information by following people you want to follow. You can even Unfollow them if want – or as I have recently been updated with, ZIP them. This is like a Facebook feature of ‘Hide’,  if I don’t want to unfollow a twit for reasons simply not to hurt their feelings, I can just get rid of their tweets from my feed completely when its all become too much. I thought Facebook was bad. However as Stephen Fry pointed out recently – in no way is Twitter as much hard work!

Case 5. “SHARE”- sharing is caring right? wrong, its infectious.  In a world where its just important to show what we do while we do it I find myself in wrapped up in this concept since getting my HTC wholeheartedly. It probably doesn’t help that my friends are gorgeous – and that we do cool things sometimes – but the apps like Vignette camera on my phone makes it so much fun. I found myself in a new pop up restaurant on Frith Street Soho the other night and was so excited by how cool it was as a concept that I spent the first 10 minutes of arriving taking pictures on my vignette and ‘SHARE’ -ing it on Twitter…not that you cared. But I didn’t care that you didn’t care because someone out there did. I checked. I had like 15 views in 15 seconds. Its like a drug this thing.

Case 6. “I need to download more Apps.” – I have my eye on a few. I dont really need them but they will make my life so much more efficient right? like the barcode app – I can scan almost any barcoded item in London and find an alternative cheaper price for it. Or there’s Angry birds NEW and IMPROVED. Or that safegaurd App that rings out an alarm if anyone so much as blinks at my phone. Even case number 1 above is hardly a problem you know why? because I have an App that allows me to either send an email or text via another device to my lost phone and activate its ringtone to track it down. Or failing that the App links up to my computer sends a Jason Bourne style GPS tracker on its location !

Never was a true word spoken than “there’s an App for that” .

Case 6. All in all I’m the person walking down the street illuminated by the screen of her phone. Idiotic and unsociable I know. Thank god I have real friends and thank god they’re patient.

Hello my name is Alex and I am a mobile-holic.

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